super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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