i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
