found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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