So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
