Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
