I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
