Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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