On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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