wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
