Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
