We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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