Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize