i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
