Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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