grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
