she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
