soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize