Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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