FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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