I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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