He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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