Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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