but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
