Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
