I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
