So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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