i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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