Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
