are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
