Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
