If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
