Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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