I look better un-naked...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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