It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
