Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
