You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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