he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
