i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
