I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You ate ashes out of my bong
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
