He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
