Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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