we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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