You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
