I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
