You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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