It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
