I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
