Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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