idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
