we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
