ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize