Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
