i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
