I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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