he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You can't motorboat a personality
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
