Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
