i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
