i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
